I was not to write about this topic any time soon until today at around mid day when i was walking slowly towards home from work. Then came this Bodaboda cyclist with his customer – or is it passenger? – from behind. I overheard their story in which the cyclist was telling his passenger – who happened to be a lady – that he had decided to stand on his own. The story went something like : Cyclist : Mama, Mimi nimeamua kujitegemea. Mambo ya kujishikilia kwa mtu kila wakati nimeachana nayo. Passenger: Ulifanya vizuri kijana wangu. Najua utaendelea kujinufaisha kupitia jasho lako. Cyclist: Niliona ndugu yangu ni kama alikuwa anadhani ameshikilia maisha yangu mkononi lakini tangu nijitenge naye; tangu niache kumtegemea, naona maisha si mbaya. Passenger: Bora tu muheshimiane, maisha yatakuwa mazuri. Before I could hear any more, they were way too far from me. However, I was left in a word full of reflections. I reflected on my life and the life of other people in campus. This is when I decided to pen down this blog post in order to highlight some instances in which we need to stand on our own at campus. Many a times you will find a friend who is always there for you in times of problems. That friend who always advice you in times of crises and in most of the time you find their pieces of advise too hard to ignore. The best advice the friend always gives you is for you to avoid the crisis rather than to face it. To procrastinate the crisis rather than to deal with it head on and do away with the crisis. Once you take his or her advice and use it, he goes about chest-thumping of how he/she has helped you many times. On the other hand, you remain in a world of uncertainty about how you are going to deal with the same crisis – but this time round, it’s bigger and even bolder than it were before. It’s time to let go off such a friend. I am very sure that there are those friends who will be your friends as long as you settle the bill. They will hang around you and suggest the best things that you can do together. They will suggest to you the best girls to date. They will even suggest the best house you can stay in while in campus. But when it comes to settling the bills for the aforesaid adventures, and many more, they take the back seat. They assume the role of your brains by thinking for you but fail to take the role of your wallet when it comes to paying for their brain children. Time has come to shade off such friends and think and act for yourself. Do you know those friends who will offer the most valuable pieces of advice and end up telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about it? I bet you have them or have seen them. They are good friends who will even help you out with notes when you miss a lecture. The best friends who will Google a CAT for you. The model friends who will even give you flour in the kitchenettes when yours gets finished while preparing ugali. The problem with them is that they “kiss and tell”. Drop them and avoid them as a plague. Befriending somebody before they start dating is good but it would be better if you befriended them if both of you are dating. You never know the kind of person that closest friend of yours will soon start dating. You might have understood your friend like the proverbial back of your hand but once they start dating, things change. He won’t be the kind of person you knew. He won’t be available anymore. His spouse will look at you with a twisted mouth while your friend welcomes you with a smile. His spouse will inbox you insults while your friend sends you encouragement quotes. His spouse will suggest that you live separate lives in separate houses while your friend says that you stay together. Once you see such signs, be on your own. Stand alone. Standing alone is, however, hard to many people. True friendship is just like an addiction. Have it! However, do not stop being yourself. Have a friend but do not turn them into your thinking machines. Have friends but always have that right to always choose the type and colour of clothes you want to wear in the morning. Competition is healthy, but it becomes unhealthy if it turns into sh0owdowns. Do not buy something because so and so has it! You will get hurt. Do not live in a storeyed house because somebody is living there. Do not buy a vehicle because somebody has one! You need to know how to drive the vehicle. Do not befriend a lecturer because somebody is their friend. Do not go to Njokerio because your friend is going. Remember that TRUE FRIENDS ARE WORTH, but as the cyclist said of his brother, ALWAYS LEARN TO STAND ON YOUR OWN. Be your brother’s keeper, but not their burden or thinking machines. Having said that i am out for today, Good evening!!!!


About denshispeaks

Foods, Nutrition and Dietetics is on my papers, commentating on sociopolitical and campus issues is my trade and run deep in my blood, humility and Trust in God are my guides, dreams and visions of a better tomorrow motivate me.

2 responses »

  1. WOW…This is the so called REALITY! Quite encouraging …am out too ready to stand on my own. It sounds like an appetizer, you are BEST at this! Please, write more ……..

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