Single mothers are not entirely a result of rogue men. They are a result of their own illusions, imagination and unattainable standards. Most single mothers have themselves to blame at the end. They have themselves to blame for the missed opportunities and chances. But they would rather blame men
Most ladies want ‘the perfect man ‘ to date them. They want a man who will treat them well, the same man should be good looking and loaded with money. The same man should be from a particular place and with a given family background. The man should be within a specific age bracket. The perfect man.
This is all imaginary! There are no perfect humans – let alone men. “God saw that it was good”. This is according to the NIV Bible. It doesn’t say that God saw what He had created – including men – that they were perfect. No!!
The prefect men that many women dream of daily are merely a creation of men. The guys in the Telenovelas that have flooded Kenyan television screens aren’t perfect in reality. They are acting; taking up roles assigned to them. They are imitating somebody else’s actions and words. Somebody who probably never live. An imagination.
When William Levi is taking up a role in ‘Don’t Mess With An Angel ‘, he is no longer a William Levi but a medical doctor called Miguel. Ladies end up making Doctor Miguel their perfect man thinking that he is William Levi. I bet in reality, William Levi is not Doctor Miguel.
Think of a lady searching for a Doctor Miguel in reality. As she does that, time catches up with her. She realizes that she is edging too fast towards 30 years with nothing to show of except their job and academic papers. She remembers the different Magazines she has read on reproductive health. At thirty years and above, chances of a woman getting a baby are slim. Chances of a woman getting a deformed baby are high. She wants a normal baby.
The woman gets stressed up. She probably avoided all men at Campus for various reasons, they didn’t measure up to her perfect man. Some did not have a Densel Washington’s body. Others did not treat her with money and outings as she wanted. Still, some had the money, the body but looked nothing less than baboons. Maybe, others had the money, the body and the looks but had no time for her. In the end, the lady decided that Campus wasn’t her dating ground.
At the workplace, she resolve to start again. She is around 25 years and wants to settle by the time she is 28. Unfortunately, Mr. Perfect Guy is not showing up. She flirts with the Accountant before realizing that he is married. She starts avoiding the Accountant like a plague.
She is turning twenty seven yet no sign of a man. She starts seeing her driver, mechanic and even the bachelor neighbor. The three make a good combination of her perfect man but none of them has all the qualities packaged in him. Before making up her mind, she realizes that she missed her periods. She doesn’t know whether it is the mechanic’s, the driver’s or the neighbor’s. She goes into solitude.
In her her imaginations, the perfect man must accept her with the pregnancy or the child. She is 29 years and doesn’t want to get to 30 without a kid of her on. A life of expectancy sets in but with imaginary standards. No man shows interest in her because none can live up to her unrealistic standards. Denial sets in.
All her age mates are married and seem happy. She forgets that it’s her unrealistic standards and set the blame squarely on men and God. Men are blamed for not being perfect while God gets the blame for having allowed ‘ that ‘ to happen to her. She invites her girlfriends for a baby shower and they all turn up with their husbands or fiance. Though they laugh throughout the event, she is dying inside to have her own husband. She is a single mother. After the party, she hugs her pillow and promise herself to get a man ASAP.
Maybe not a “perfect man ” anymore …..but just a MAN.