Single mothers are not entirely a result of rogue men. They are a result of their own illusions, imagination and unattainable standards. Most single mothers have themselves to blame at the end. They have themselves to blame for the missed opportunities and chances. But they would rather blame men

Most ladies want ‘the perfect man ‘ to date them. They want a man who will treat them well, the same man should be good looking and loaded with money. The same man should be from a particular place and with a given family background. The man should be within a specific age bracket. The perfect man.

This is all imaginary! There are no perfect humans – let alone men. “God saw that it was good”. This is according to the NIV Bible. It doesn’t say that God saw what He had created – including men – that they were perfect. No!!

The prefect men that many women dream of daily are merely a creation of men. The guys in the Telenovelas that have flooded Kenyan television screens aren’t perfect in reality. They are acting; taking up roles assigned to them. They are imitating somebody else’s actions and words. Somebody who probably never live. An imagination.

When William Levi is taking up a role in ‘Don’t Mess With An Angel ‘, he is no longer a William Levi but a medical doctor called Miguel. Ladies end up making Doctor Miguel their perfect man thinking that he is William Levi. I bet in reality, William Levi is not Doctor Miguel.

Think of a lady searching for a Doctor Miguel in reality. As she does that, time catches up with her. She realizes that she is edging too fast towards 30 years with nothing to show of except their job and academic papers. She remembers the different Magazines she has read on reproductive health. At thirty years and above, chances of a woman getting a baby are slim. Chances of a woman getting a deformed baby are high. She wants a normal baby.

The woman gets stressed up. She probably avoided all men at Campus for various reasons, they didn’t measure up to her perfect man. Some did not have a Densel Washington’s body. Others did not treat her with money and outings as she wanted. Still, some had the money, the body but looked nothing less than baboons. Maybe, others had the money, the body and the looks but had no time for her. In the end, the lady decided that Campus wasn’t her dating ground.

At the workplace, she resolve to start again. She is around 25 years and wants to settle by the time she is 28. Unfortunately, Mr. Perfect Guy is not showing up. She flirts with the Accountant before realizing that he is married. She starts avoiding the Accountant like a plague.

She is turning twenty seven yet no sign of a man. She starts seeing her driver, mechanic and even the bachelor neighbor. The three make a good combination of her perfect man but none of them has all the qualities packaged in him. Before making up her mind, she realizes that she missed her periods. She doesn’t know whether it is the mechanic’s, the driver’s or the neighbor’s. She goes into solitude.

In her her imaginations, the perfect man must accept her with the pregnancy or the child. She is 29 years and doesn’t want to get to 30 without a kid of her on. A life of expectancy sets in but with imaginary standards. No man shows interest in her because none can live up to her unrealistic standards. Denial sets in.

All her age mates are married and seem happy. She forgets that it’s her unrealistic standards and set the blame squarely on men and God. Men are blamed for not being perfect while God gets the blame for having allowed ‘ that ‘ to happen to her. She invites her girlfriends for a baby shower and they all turn up with their husbands or fiance. Though they laugh throughout the event, she is dying inside to have her own husband. She is a single mother. After the party, she hugs her pillow and promise herself to get a man ASAP.

Maybe not a “perfect man ” anymore …..but just a MAN.


12 responses »

  1. just to reassure you, i’m not interested in this fictitious perfect man, i’d rather date someone who is real not fake, and just for the record (and no remarks about feminism!) i’m not interested in breeding like some rabbit at all, because my primary focus is on my education, not fulfilling some criteria to be seen as a woman. so screw this shallow society! i don’t need to be some bloke’s arm candy, I’m doing a lot more on my own without worrying about being single or biological clocks!

    • Thanks for dropping by to get my perspective.

      It’s all about wha one believes in that makes them belong to the category I addressed or not …from your sentiments, it is clear that you don’t belong ….and I respect YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

  2. Interesting piece. I think you have to be a woman.. to write about this.. for it to be taken seriously,.. its like me (a woman) writing about my life with a d**k… will make for an entertaining read tho.
    Why? coz not all women, not even half.. think like this..infact i dont even know ANY women who think like this.. if there are.. Which im sure there are..then this article.. kinda fell short off the title.. I mean.. You didnt tell them how to get “the man” eh?!

  3. I wish God could give most of our university ladies the sense that one day they’ll need to get married i always pity them! Infact that tittle shld have been something like ‘The modern learnt woman’ those are best fitting xtics of our ladies here!

  4. Pingback: Dating Tips For Single Mothers | A Dating Dogs Blog

Please Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s