Ladies cry a lot and even end up killing themselves after being dumped by their boyfriends. They either blame themselves entirely for the failure of the relationship and lose meaning for their lives. Others blame the man responsible for the heartbreak and vow never to date again “after everything I put in this relationship “. They brand men with unprintable names and fail the real cause of the break up.

Just like ladies, men also have wants, needs and expectations that need to be met by his lady. That ensures the success of the relationship or marriage. Among the many things a lady should do, I find the following four to be paramount :

1.Please Shave.

You heard me right. If you can’t afford Bic Razor or Gillette, just spare some Ksh. 3 and buy Panda razor blade. It disgusts many a man when he walks around with a lady flaunting bushy armpits. It’s a total turn off to many men when at the start of foreplay they realize that their girls have bushy crouches.

Whatever your reasons for being bushy maybe, please shave for the sake of your relationship. I am sure you don’t want your man to wonder how many lice and other ectoparasites reside between your legs. Just keep it well trimmed.

2. Be Presentable.

He was attracted to you in the first place because you looked presentable. He first talked to you because he believed you are smart. It’s from your outlook that he got the chance to know who you are at heart. Do not change just because you already have him. Men use their eyes most of the time, therefore keep the eyes satisfied. Continue coming to bed with lingerie and nothing under even when you feel tired and uninterested in making love that night. Changing into ‘mountain climbing ‘ clothes before coming to bed is a total turn off.

Remain presentable and he will introduce you to ‘The Boys ‘ as THE GIRL. Remain presentable and he won’t have an eye for your friend or neighbor.

3. Be Independent.

Men have learnt to accommodate and appreciate the quest for independence by women. You wanted it, you’ve gotten it! Now it’s time to maintain it for your relationship or marriage’s sake. You don’t need to transfer all your burdens to him just because he is dating or married to you. Share responsibilities and show him that you love him but can still stand on your own. If he starts buying you everything out of your demand and not his will, then know that you are on the verge of losing him to a less demanding lass. Let him take you out out of a feeling of responsibility and not compulsion.

An independent lady knows when to shave,how to look and remain presentable and attractive to her man. She knows when the man is joking and when he means business. She initiates progressive conversations and does not wait for him to do everything.

4. Trust Him.

Before you convince yourself that you love the man, TRUST HIM. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship or marriage. Once you start doubting your man, he will live up to prove your doubts right by being with someone who trusts him fully. Trust that your man can fix the bulb that blew out last night even though you know that he has no background knowledge of electronics. Rushing to call the electrician neighbor means that you don’t trust your man.

Have trust that he won’t cheat on you with his Classmate. If you start calling and threatening the classmate who calls most to inquire about this or that can make him withdraw.

Therefore, before you lay blames, cross-check your performance in the above aspects. If you really provided them and he still leaves you …well, know that you were never meant to be.


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