Several Categories of Students On Egerton Campus Life Facebook Page According to Denshispeaks

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When you visit the Egerton Campus Life (ECL) Facebook Page, there are categories of people/students you’ll never miss. These guys are constantly on the page with their posts irrespective of the time of the day or night you visit the page.

1. COMPLAINERS
These are the guys you’ll find complaining about anything and everything. They’ll complain about their boyfriends, girlfriends, lecturers, the weather, SUEU, the university and even the ECL Page! They are always around, and if a complain does not elicit the intended reaction, they will post another complain.

Some of them will even comment on other people’s posts with complains. Their DNA must be wired for complaining! I wonder what they do away from Facebook in real life. Complain?

2. LOVE DOCTORS
They are the masters of copy-pasting. They load ECL with love posts from other pages. They make up love stories and problems, post on ECL and wait for ECLians’ reaction.

Some of them are so annoying that they’ll post the same issue more than one time. They must be too idle to be concerned with other Comrades’ love life – whether fictitiously or in reality.

3. SALESMEN
One common phrase on ECL is “Biz ya leo” coined and popularized by one Georggie Wainaina’s. He had a one stop shop of close to everything a campus student needs. Too bad his five year stay at campus came to an end this year.

He however has colleagues who are picking up the pase. These guys sale everything and anything – from electronic devices, data bundles, laptop bags to sun glasses. Anybody in need of printing, binding, photocopying and typing services need only to visit Egerton Campus Life Facebook page.

4. POLITICIANS
These are the seasonal ECLians who come and go with the electioneering period at campus. ECL provides the single cost effective avenue to sell their policies and manifestoes. Those who don’t want to spend will have more ECL posts than the number of printed posters.

Apart from one Jared Ochieng’ who vied for the 2012/13 SUEU Chairmanship and was defeated – I’m yet to see any campus politician taking their campaigns online through blogs and websites. ECL marks the beginning and the end of online campaign.

The politicians on ECL are characterized by promising posts which are mostly 90% lies. After all, no one will hold them accountable. They buy enough data bundles to enable them spread and monitor the response of comrades to their propaganda.

They swing to oblivion once the elections are done.

5. POLITICAL ANALYSTS/ CRITICS
These are the ‘eyes’ of comrades around campus throughout the year. If they aren’t analyzing and criticizing campus politics, they are keeping a watchful eye on national politics. Some operate on facts while others use hearsay to do their trade. They are at times given such names as betrayers, inciters, know-it-alls, noise makers etc.

They differ in opinions amongst themselves and even with the rest of the students. They analyze, criticize and predict outcomes on political issues around campus and throughout Kenya. Whether the predicted outcomes come to pass or not is none of their business. They’ll be on another matter all together.

6.TRIBAL LORDS
Their posts on ECL lack wisdom and the sense of integration is lost to them. Egocentrism has taken over their mental faculties. They are kin on the news to get the name of the purported victim. If s/he is from their tribe, then they are ‘targeted’… if the victim is from another tribe, then ‘they deserve it’.

The tribal lords will get personal at the blink of an eye. They’ll start conversing in their language on ECL to keep away those who don’t understand. They’ll come to the defence of their tribal kingpins in national politics without analyzing the situation to uncover the truth. I wonder why they are still posting on ECL their venomous tribal updates

7. ARTISTS
Were it not for one Freeboy, I would call this category “Musician Wannabes”. This is the category of self-proclaimed artists around campus. They range from spoken word artists to musicians.
The spoken word artists are always reminding comrades about their events and inviting them over. ‘Ivsurm’ is famous on Wednesdays.

The musicians – or should I say wannabes – are either ‘beefing’ each other or paying comrades to soil their names for publicity. Others will form fake accounts when they realize that they are nowhere in the limelight. They’ll then use these fake accounts to spread cheap propaganda about themselves to remain relevant.

Anybody posting on Egerton Campus Life Facebook Page falls in one or two of the above categories.

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