One look at her and one would think that she had her life all wrapped around her finger. She exuded the aura of an independent lady who stopped depending on anybody including their parent in their sweet sixteens. As a result, they have learned and matured through life in the most natural ways possible. At first glance, she was Sharon Mundia, Caroline Mutoko and Martha Karua. All bundled up in one body mass of a human being.
In fact within the first thirty minutes of conversing with her, I could tell that the three ladies were her role models. Sharon Mundia bringing in her fashion sense, Mutoko strutting into her life with her independence gospel with Karua surfacing on her face as the iron lady she is. Abscondittah.
The name, however, brought in a different picture altogether. Who calls their child Abscondittah unless she was a product of a burst condom or desperate sex! It’s like her birth reminded her mum of some bad past experience in her life that would rather be kept in an archived human being. When she tells you her name several questions run through your head like the endless River Nile. But you haven’t seen River Nile yet so you cut the thoughts short and move on the Kenyan style.
Listen to her story and you will realize that Abscondittah doesn’t need your pity. Her mother doesn’t either because Abscondittah is a name she was given out of love. The love of parents she still enjoys up to today in spite of her rather tough look. The kind of love that spoils kids and make them think that they own the world yet even the pantyhose they brag about in were bought for them by their parents on their girl’s 22nd birthday.
In fact, Absondittah here was just 22.
Why the tough look for a twenty-two-year-old who has everything thanks to her parents? You ask, yourself, not her. You can’t risk the lecture – especially if you are a man, a thirsty man looking for a relationship or an easy lay or both. She has everything but lacks the most important thing in her life. At 22, she is worried that age is not just a number but an evil spirit that seems to be creeping up on her from the shadows. Shadows she can’t see past. Because if she did, she would strangle the 22 to death and replace it with 16 and a hymen.
Abscondittah has had her fair share with men. Apparently, the tough look is bone out of the numerous heartbreaks in her life. Sitting on a famous bench where most campus love sprout, we are conversing but her thoughts are in wonderland.. Trying to find answers to whether I am gonna be another jerk that jerked, and jerked, and jerked in her life before leaving her heart in tatters.
I love the beautiful soul before me, hell, I love the Caroline Mutoko independence and the toughness of Karua. Those can at least supplement the name. In fact, to forget the rather mouthful name, I’m doing the ‘sweetheart’ nonsense. At least that is taking my mind off the name. For the moment.
She is looking for love, true love that they say leads to marriage. According to her, at her age, marriage is the next stop. She’s looking for somebody willing to lose their Bachelors Degree just to give her a Masters Degree. She has everything a man needs but that is the problem. Men have an ego. Men want to own the air and everything else around their lady. Men are animals, not dogs, but lions in this case. They want to own the jungle and every grass in it even if they only feed on meat.
Here is a lady with a history of 6 heartbreaks that I don’t want to find out in this limited time on the bench. She’s interviewing me for the position of the conqueror of her heart. All I want is a moment with her but I can’t tell her because she will run away never to look back. She will classify me into the men are all the same list that is already full with six names already. That list where we all belong until we prove otherwise. I was here to prove otherwise.
“If you want to be number 7 in my life, promise that I won’t need a number 8.”
Ladies, when we promise, you don’t need to ask that ‘sure’ question because we start doubting ourselves. Let the conversation end at “I Promise” if there’s nothing else to say.
“You know I have love before and was really broken. I just want you to be sure that you want me forever before anything.”
“Of course I do Abscondittah.” I shudder at the name. Where are my manners? I had just promised to call her dear.
In her final year of study and six boyfriends down the line, Abscondittah would do anything to be in a stable relationship. The kind that doesn’t end with the semester because when this semester ends, she’s not gonna have the opportunity to meet and fall in love with a campus student without being branded a cougar. She was going fast but I understood her desperation. Her desperation was protruding like a six months pregnancy but she was trying to cover it all up with her toughness.
He world was crumbling, fast. And I seemed to her like the only Recce Squad available to get the job done.
I was afraid. Afraid of letting my guard down. Afraid of losing my Bachelors Degree to a jungle that I will not enjoy the full lion status. Afraid of the fact that the six chaps that preceded me must have had a reason to chuck. Afraid of finding out the exact reasons. All I needed with her was a moment. Maybe that way, I would decide whether she’s the kind of meat I would want to eat daily in my jungle, our jungle.