Category Archives: Musings

But I Still Love Her

But I Still Love Her

I had been seeing her being caressed and appreciated by other people and my blood boiled with anger until 2012 when I finally nailed her. She meant everything to me. Nothing I asked of her was hard for her to deliver. In fact, I became the envy of my clique when they noticed me fondling her in my hands most of the time…all the time. She was my sweetheart and I was going to make good use of her to at least earn some man points if not money.

Today I might call her an idiot because of the new girls in the hood. I can call her a reckless good for nothing idiot because my heart is being conquered by another but I will not stop loving her. I might not like the way she ‘stands out’ every time I put her in my pocket making people stare at me but I still adore her for the good memories we shared. Looking at how far I’ve come with her, I can only but wish her all the best in her life – though she technically has none now that she had her last fall at the hands of Baby Blessing the other day. She meant a lot to me and she still does only that my needs have increased with time while her performance has dwindled at an even faster rate and now is very close to zero. As a result, she can no longer meet my insatiable need of using her.

She introduced me to Twitter and the world of blogging and Denshispeaks was born courtesy of her then fast and unmatched ability to access the internet. I made my first shilling courtesy of her unwavering support of my love for blogging. She knew I could not write unless she lets me and hence thought she was indispensable. She helped me land my first contact and hence led me to my first salary. Little did she know that would be the beginning of the end for her.

I fell in love with a Lenovo B590 but my Idiot did not get jealous because she knew too well that there are some things only her could do for me. She was the only one who could moan every time somebody wanted to have an ear-to-ear conversation with me. She was the only one who could run an errand for me in the name of an SMS and most importantly, she was the only one I could sleep with in bed. She was technically part of me. I loved her for her inconvenience. She was literally with me everywhere and never complained even when I stuffed her in my pocket with my handkerchief during those days flue visited me.

Even though my B590 took over the blogging role from her, she smiled and allowed Lenovo to continue with the job. Her tiredness must have started kicking in.

When my first born daughter came in 2014, she knew that the two years we had been together was enough for her to be a good mother. She could sooth Baby Blessing to sleep at the age of two months with sweet music and wake her up every time someone wanted an ear-to-ear conversation with me. She was her toy and never complained when Blessing tossed her around the house.

Little did we know that Blessing would be the end of her. She endured the tossing and throwing around over the days until she could take no more. I started leaving her with Blessing more and more just to avoid the tantrums of the little girl. My Ideos started feeling neglected by me, her man. She complained but I was too busy to understand her. She cried for my care but Blessing was all I thought of. I only noticed her presence when people called to ask this or that or when I needed to call, text or Whatsapp somebody.

I had been seeing her being caressed and appreciated by other people and my blood boiled with anger until 2012 when I finally nailed her. She meant everything to me. Nothing I asked of her was hard for her to deliver.

I had been seeing her being caressed and appreciated by other people and my blood boiled with anger until 2012 when I finally nailed her. She meant everything to me. Nothing I asked of her was hard for her to deliver.

Then came the question of age. She was aging faster than me. While I was adapting to the technological trends, she seemed old fashioned and I started feeling ashamed to flash her around. While in a crowd, I preferred for the world to end before fulfilling my dreams to her ringing. She was becoming clumsy and a nuisance to me. My Ideos was now stressing me more than anything in the world would. She could hang the whole day without bothering to think about my feelings. She discharged faster than she charged.

My all time companion during a long journey could no longer keep me company for more than one hour before her battery run low. I was getting fed up but I still loved her. I realized why polygamy is necessary in this life. I realized why Solomon had over 300 side chicks and still appeared in the Bible. I realized why he is still the wisest man to ever walk this earth. I had to hatch a plan to get this Ideos a co-wife.

As I bid her goodbye, It would be disrespectful to end this relationship without honoring her on this blog. The love we shared was the real deal. It is the kind of love that leaves you satisfied of your accomplishments together when it ends. I will forever remember her as one of the special gadgets that introduced me to my new line of work. Without her, i wonder where and what I would be doing right now. Such love is rare.

As I start my journey with my new found love, things are never going to be the same. My new catch must be secretly a model, otherwise I know not how to describe her slim body. She allows me to cheat on Safaricom with any other person I damn wish without feeling any guilt. When my mind is dirty, she allows me to watch YouTube clips that always ask me about my age before watching. To keep all my attention to herself, she has allowed me to download and install a lot of apps on her. She can handle them, she assures me every time.

It’s a sin of Biblical proportion to forget your first love. I will never forget you my dear Ideos even as I embrace my new love. Adios!!


One Year in a Hell Hole


After spending a year in a place where everyone’s identity was in a crisis, I finally knew that I was in the right place. My previous school had seen me go through different experiences that I can only but liken to what used to happen in Sodom and Gomorrah during Abrahamic days. Those activities that saw God literally make it rain fire and brimstone to the people of the city and changed Lot’s wife into a salt stone for looking back.

Oh how ladies never learn. Even after somebody being turned into a salt stone for looking into history by God Himself, you still get a lady today looking into the history of his man and judging him based on that. May God rain brimstone on you. 🙂 Chapter closed.

gayyyBack to this hell hole that made me discover that actually men can still admire fellow men in a sexual way. Wait a minute, but how that is even possible, please don’t ask me. You could not tell John from Jane at this place during the day because everyone was busy manning up and trying to acquire knowledge. But with every strike of darkness, it seemed like hell was let loose and men had had to allocate themselves roles in the sexual world with some accepting the roles of women to be shagged night long.

A pathetic place to send your son to acquire knowledge if you asked me. But we still do. How many of such places exist in Kenya is a question I might only ask on this blog in this post. No one would want to imagine that probably, that prestigious school your son is in as all the characteristics of Sodom that even an angel cannot survive a day. I will not dare talk about girls schools because that’s a different case all together whose stakes are even higher with candles, test tubes and bansen burners in play. A riskier place if you asked me.

How I landed in this hell hole still beats me. I had all the manly characters  – head to toe  – that anyone can imagine. Hell, I’m not sure if I was still a virgin, thanks to my being a man because apparently somebody decided that no man is a virgin. But I was here and I was expected to behave. To fit in. To take up a role and act it to the end of the nights, which in fact seemed to last an eternity.

A little background check and I discovered that I was coming from this Christina family from where everything is done according to the Book. This was different, rules of the book were being bend right before my eyes and in the presence of the angel from Sodom and Gomorrah who seemed to lark in the darkness that engulfed the hostels at night.

My understanding of monolization changed immediately. It was like my brothers and sisters had not understood the term well during their days and had thus transferred the wrong knowledge of what monolization really is to me. I had to reboot my systems and now understand that monolization does not only include brushing a finalist’s shoes and spreading their beds but also bending while at it naked and warming their beds with a shaft in you. No, this was not going to happen. Not to me.

Garang had just been assassinated but we had our own Garang. A man of stature and principles. He was the second in command and the disciplinarian. Take to him any problem and consider it solved. But by the look on his eyes, this was a different kind of demon altogether. He hadn’t seen anything of this sort in his miserable years of handing teenagers. Even his pay cheque could not handle the bowlful of problem I was taking to him that Monday morning, a month after my joining his hell hole.

You guessed that right. He didn’t believe it. I was being hysterical. I was just looking for an excuse to go back home. I was just like thousands of other new comers he had seen since his career started who use outrageous excuses to drop out of anything good that requires their hard work.  I was looking for an excuse to disappoint my parents who had done so much to get me there. One of the best that there was to offer to a looser like me. He was right about one thing, I was looking for all reasons available to escape from that hell hole. I couldn’t allow my butt to be drilled. Not even by God himself.

At this point I am better than some ladies I bet. Those who are neither virgins in their front door nor their back doors. Both pass. But I won’t say that. This was soo 2005 and we are in 2015. Things have changed, no?

Just as Garang’s plane was taken down in the assassination without a warning, our Garang’s sense of self assurance was unceremoniously brought down when other fresh members of the hell hole came forward and declared that they would rather quit than get drilled.

No one was going to know what happened here. I bet no one, except those affected actually knew what was happening. It was bad for business. It was bad for the image of those concerned. It was bad for the school and hence the best way to hand it was ‘in-house.’ It was to be dealt with ‘with finality‘. I’m not sure how final the finality was.

For me it was final. I was not going back. I was going somewhere else. I was going to a place where men are made out of boys. I was not going to spend another year into this hell hole that made women out of men. No. I was not being homophobic, but I was just making a decision. I was sure of what I wanted to become in life. I was created to be a man and not somebody’s woman. That’s a decision everyone has to take. Every man.

When I look back I can’t help but wonder what became of those we left there.

Now is the Time to Pursue your Dreams!


When we were kids, all we wished for was growing up. The things grown ups were doing were always fascinating. They could leave and return to the house “whenever they wanted”. They could go to work and get money. All we had to do is sit there and wait for them to come back. Maybe, ask for one bob so that we go buy those biscuits that used to cost 10 cents. We didn’t care whatever job they were doing. It never mattered anyway as long as there’s food on the table…However, do you know that most of them were actually in the wrong career? Do you know that most of them


In High school, it was all fun and games until Continuous Assessment Test (CATs) and End Term Exams started streaming in. Talk of the Zonal, District and Provincial Mocks. One thing many a student didn’t realize is that high school is the best place to know the direction your career will take. Believe it or not, if you’re in high school right now, you’re at a great point in your life. You have your whole life in front of you. And now is a good time to start thinking about your future, to make some initial plans; just remember that plans can be easily changed. Now is the time to pursue your dreams!

Now, in our times – when a biscuit used to go for 10 cents – there were less and sometimes no mentors or career counselors. Those who were around were too busy or simply unavailable for us. However, today’s high school students have a greater chance of defining their career paths early enough in life. Opportunities are presenting themselves all over. You don’t have to wait till you finish your high school to know what career you want to pursue.

My Career Identity is a consulting firm that aims at ensuring that High School Students and those awaiting to join University get to select the best career that suits them. We’ve heard many stories of guys who got stuck in a career they don’t fancy. This is a scenario that the Career Counselors at My Career Identity are seeking to eliminate in the Kenya. With an economy that is driven by skill, it will be foolhardy to pursue a career that you are not comfortable with.

Parents to high school students and those of those students waiting to join University or College need to register them for a one day Career Workshop at Tangaza University on 28th November 2014. This is an opportunity for the students to discover their true career identity.

A Lifetime Opportunity for High School Students


“What would you like to become when you grow up?”

This is one question that every child in their Lower Primary school life is asked by almost every teacher. The answers are always amazing. These kids think of nothing but those supposed “big jobs” available. Their answers range from Doctor thruogh Engineer (never mind what type of Engineer) to Lawyer and recently Pastor.

However, in as much as the question remains unchanged, the answers given keep changing as the child advances in his or her academic life until when finally asked while in their final year of High School, there are those who would settle for any job. This is a journey traveled by every Kenyan child. After their final exam in Form Four, they have literally become Jack of all Trades but masters of none. In fact, if you asked them what they want to pursue in college, most would rather wait for the results to come out before they see what they can do! Pathetic, right?

img6 As a parent who would rather have a child who is in charge of their future, it’s during this time of uncertainty that you need to kick in and show direction. This would be hard if you, too, are a victim of this same system that robbed you the ability to think about ‘what you want’ and start thinking of ‘what your teachers want’ of you! Professionals come in handy to help at this.

My Career Identity is partnering with Tangaza University College, Karen to bring you a one-day opportunity like no other. On 28th November 2014, you can decide as a parent to either let your child wallow in uncertainty about their future or help them take charge of their true CAREER IDENTITY.

Now, this are this one of those one-in-a-lifetime opportunities that every parent must exploit for the benefit of their children. Registration is ongoing and only a few slots are remaining. It’s hard to imagine such an opportunity passing your son or daughter bearing in mind how hard these opportunities were to find during the days you were in high school. Allow your child get undivided one day attention from experts and come out already sure of what career path they want to follow.

What’s more on the offer? By the end of the workshop they will become My Career Identity members–a 6 months free membership opportunity. As a member there are several benefits which include opportunities for internships, one to one career counseling sessions, improvement in academic performance among other goodies. The team is dedicated to ensuring that students make sound decision when choosing their careers. Your child will be assisted in focusing on the best they can be.

At the end of the workshop, your child will definitely be oozing with confidence to pursue a career that they are suitable for. Do not hold your child in the house and deny them this golden chance to identify their True Career Path!! REGISTER HERE and book a Space for your child.