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A Moment With Abscondittah

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One look at her and one would think that she had her life all wrapped around her finger. She exuded the aura of an independent lady who stopped depending on anybody including their parent in their sweet sixteens. As a result, they have learned and matured through life in the most natural ways possible. At first glance, she was Sharon Mundia, Caroline Mutoko and Martha Karua. All bundled up in one body mass of a human being.

In fact within the first thirty minutes of conversing with her, I could tell that the three ladies were her role models. Sharon Mundia bringing in her fashion sense, Mutoko strutting into her life with her independence gospel with Karua surfacing on her face as the iron lady she is. Abscondittah.

The name, however, brought in a different picture altogether. Who calls their child Abscondittah unless she was a product of a burst condom or desperate sex! It’s like her birth reminded her mum of some bad past experience in her life that would rather be kept in an archived human being. When she tells you her name several questions run through your head like the endless River Nile. But you haven’t seen River Nile yet so you cut the thoughts short and move on the Kenyan style.

Listen to her story and you will realize that Abscondittah doesn’t need your pity. Her mother doesn’t either because Abscondittah is a name she was given out of love. The love of parents she still enjoys up to today in spite of her rather tough look. The kind of love that spoils kids and make them think that they own the world yet even the pantyhose they brag about in were bought for them by their parents on their girl’s 22nd birthday.

In fact, Absondittah here was just 22.

Why the tough look for a twenty-two-year-old who has everything thanks to her parents? You ask, yourself, not her. You can’t risk the lecture – especially if you are a man, a thirsty man looking for a relationship or an easy lay or both. She has everything but lacks the most important thing in her life. At 22, she is worried that age is not just a number but an evil spirit that seems to be creeping up on her from the shadows. Shadows she can’t see past. Because if she did, she would strangle the 22 to death and replace it with 16 and a hymen.

ABC-park-benchAbscondittah has had her fair share with men. Apparently, the tough look is bone out of the numerous heartbreaks in her life. Sitting on a famous bench where most campus love sprout, we are conversing but her thoughts are in wonderland.. Trying to find answers to whether I am gonna be another jerk that jerked, and jerked, and jerked in her life before leaving her heart in tatters.

I love the beautiful soul before me, hell, I love the Caroline Mutoko independence and the toughness of Karua. Those can at least supplement the name. In fact, to forget the rather mouthful name, I’m doing the ‘sweetheart’ nonsense. At least that is taking my mind off the name. For the moment.

She is looking for love, true love that they say leads to marriage. According to her, at her age, marriage is the next stop. She’s looking for somebody willing to lose their Bachelors Degree just to give her a Masters Degree. She has everything a man needs but that is the problem. Men have an ego. Men want to own the air and everything else around their lady. Men are animals, not dogs, but lions in this case. They want to own the jungle and every grass in it even if they only feed on meat.

Here is a lady with a history of 6 heartbreaks that I don’t want to find out in this limited time on the bench. She’s interviewing me for the position of the conqueror of her heart. All I want is a moment with her but I can’t tell her because she will run away never to look back. She will classify me into the men are all the same list that is already full with six names already.  That list where we all belong until we prove otherwise. I was here to prove otherwise.

“If you want to be number 7 in my life, promise that I won’t need a number 8.”

“I promise”.

“Sure?”

Ladies, when we promise, you don’t need to ask that ‘sure’ question because we start doubting ourselves. Let the conversation end at “I Promise” if there’s nothing else to say.

“You know I have love before and was really broken. I just want you to be sure that you want me forever before anything.”

“Of course I do Abscondittah.” I shudder at the name. Where are my manners? I had just promised to call her dear.

In her final year of study and six boyfriends down the line, Abscondittah would do anything to be in a stable relationship. The kind that doesn’t end with the semester because when this semester ends, she’s not gonna have the opportunity to meet and fall in love with a campus student without being branded a cougar. She was going fast but I understood her desperation. Her desperation was protruding like a six months pregnancy but she was trying to cover it all up with her toughness.

He world was crumbling, fast. And I seemed to her like the only  Recce Squad available to get the job done.

I was afraid. Afraid of letting my guard down. Afraid of losing my Bachelors Degree to a jungle that I will not enjoy the full lion status. Afraid of the fact that the six chaps that preceded me must have had a reason to chuck. Afraid of finding out the exact reasons. All I needed with her was a moment. Maybe that way, I would decide whether she’s the kind of meat I would want to eat daily in my jungle, our jungle.

Egerton Radio: An Analysis Part #2

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Yesterday I started my analysis of the shows on Egerton Radio by giving you the three worst programs alias shows as per my perspective. Today, unveil the second and last part of the analysis by providing the list of the best three shows on the Radio Station. I must however share a joke made by a friend when I told him about the station. Apparently, the Radio Station is little known within Nakuru from where its base of listenership is.

My friend asked me whether Egerton Radio was a new Yoghurt Plant set up by Egerton University. Of course the joke was overstretched but again it says a lot about the marketing department at the Radio Station and the quality of shows that air on the station. Rating out of 10*….here are the best three shows on Egerton Radio 101.7 FM

3. One Drop Session

The show airs every Saturday from 7:00 am to 10:00 am and Sundays 10 – 1:00 pm. Hosted by the duo of Ras Anne and ZJ, the show has been criticized for playing secular reggae music on Sundays but still remain one of the most listened to show on weekends.

The chitchat by the two hosts in between the music is on point and quite entertaining. Ras Anne however tends to domineer over her co-host who sometimes runs away from the mic as if it will bit him. The ‘Head to Head’ segment is a plus to the show…and it will be better if the presenters dug dipper into the profiles of the artists whose music they choose for the segment. Listeners get interested in a show when they get more than entertainment. For instance Guardian Angel is my favorite Gospel Reggae musician….

I would more than love to know his profile! For the great mixes and witty chitchat together with the flop of playing secular reggae tunes on Sunday, the show gets ******

2. Misdemeanor

On 31st of December 2012, while doing my review of the year that was, this was the show to beat. It has been displaced but still has my respect. The show makes the midmorning radio worth listening to. Loaded with the latest music in Kenya, East Africa and around the world, it keeps listeners on the edge of their sits. With the Presenters playing the listeners’ requests and involving the listeners in the conversation, the show has cut its niche

The hosts have been involved in controversies but are still up. Hero Radio “Carebean Fever” host Dj Lean felt the threat when he noticed that the name of his show was the Thursday Theme of the Misdemeanor show on Egerton Radio. The verbal exchange through Facebook manifested the immaturity levels of Dj Lean of Hero Radio and Muniumuniu of Egerton Radio…you guys need a lesson or two in dealing with such stuff. That was however a good indication that ‘Misdemeanor’ is not but ‘just another kind of show’. The music, the vibe and the entertainment on the show can make one miss a lecture or two in a week.

You guys however need to understand that in order to take over the Nakuru airwaves, you need to focus on more than Egerton Students. Having said that, the show is worth ********

1. Wazee Hukumbuka

Hitting the airwaves every weekday from 1:00 pm, the show plays the best of Rhumba and Lingala tunes that still resonates well with the Kenyan youth. Daniel Kipchumba is as entertaining as the kind of music he plays on the show. He’s in fact the only Kenyan I know from the Great Rift who speaks fluent Swahili… but I bet he will shrub my name a million times before getting it right. Loaded with content and guided with objectivity, he ensures that listeners are infotained at all times. His hearty laughter – at times at nothing – is enough to keep listeners hooked to the station.

When accompanied with ‘The Expensive lady’ and Engineer, they turn the studio into a mad house. The ‘Friday Full House’ show is a great initiative that seeks to promote talent within Nakuru County. Several musicians have benefited from the show thanks to Kipchumba. The show gets a cool ********* …….

The Management needs to appreciate the difference between TALENT and PROFESSION…tap the talent and let it grow into a profession instead of killing talent through beaurocracy. Sometimes it’s worth breaking the rules for the good of the future. If the current beaurocracy at the station is not brought to a stop then many talents will never see the light of the day. When are you planning to install a telephone for in calls during shows?

#ComradeshipOnTrial: The Forgotten Egertonians

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In a life where cooking coils, guaranteed water supply throughout the semester, guaranteed security and good neighborlyness are just but luxuries. A life spend between going to class and coming back to deal with the smoke that comes from the Jiko or the Stove especially for those who can’t afford a gas cooker. A life in which there’s a specified time that must get you in your room unless you want trouble with the landlord or the goons.

No one chooses this life willingly. They are usually compelled to resort to the kind of life. Circumstances and regulations make students choose the kind of life that renders them half students half villagers. It’s either because they fell in love, got married and bowed to the University rule that prohibits cohabitation within campus. …or a jealous roommate complaint to an old school custodian of the sound produced by the electronics in the room.

It’s either they did not have enough stamina to struggle, shove and heave on the accommodation queue and acquire a room within campus or they reported late due to financial constraints and hence could not acquire a room within the school. It’s either their room was given to another student who was able and willing to oil the custodians’ pockets or they neither had the will nor the oil with which they could oil the custodians’ pockets and get a room at the expense of another comrade.

They are more often than not referred to as ‘Diaspora Students’ to make them feel good. However, in reality, life is really hard on most of them. Pay them a visit and you will see the kind of struggles they go through. From sleeping close to the floor except for a carton and some few clothes to paying the rent with their bodies. From those who smell like jikos and stoves to those who crave for the smell of food. They have tales to tell but no one seems like willing to listen.

The students living in hostels outside the campus. The seemingly forgotten lot of Egertonians. The kind of students that must be struck by a tragedy to be remembered by both the University administration and the Student leadership. The students who are living double life for survival.

There are some who have, however, settled in and are in a way enjoying the life off-campus. They have taken the lessons of life positively. They have even vowed never to go back and stay in school. A visit to their hostels off-campus will tell you that they are not regretting their actions. This does not exclude them from the rampant insecurity that glares at the off-campus students.

To days after the demonstration, a drunkered was beaten back to his senses at Njokerio market after trying to rape a student. This shows that the message sent through the demonstration did not sink.

This, therefore, means that the University Administration should stop burying it’s head in the sand until a tragedy happens. It needs to come to the rescue of their students by either providing enough accommodation or security. I know they can’t single-handedly provide security to off-campus students but a cooperation with the Area Administration must be possible.

It’s also time the Students Leadership recognized the enormous population of students staying off-campus and fought for their representation in the Students’ Union. They need to realise that some of their votes come from the diaspora. Since the SUEU Constitution is being reviewed, an inclusion of a clause recognizing the representation of nonresident students will be of great value.

My call to the SUEU Chair Mr. Kivondo, his Vice Mr Masengeli, the Secretary General Mr. Ooko and their team is to ensure that at the end of their term, the SUEU constitution must have been approved by the University Senate with the clause recognizing the representation of nonresident students in it. I believe in you guys. You can make it!

From DarknessCame Light

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From the humbliest of the humble
Came the mightiest of the mighty
Out of atrocities, with life unsteady
Came one that made people tremble.

A light from the darkness
A star from the cloud-invaded sky
Oozing an aura of freshness
With a fighting spirit that doesn’t die

A society full of prejudice
A family wrecked in poverty
She tossed the right dice
Landing on liberty

The plight of the girl-child
Got an ear for the first time
Many cases she filed
Educating that child abuse is a crime

She was feared and respected
Hated and admired in equal measure
She neither tarried
Nor gave into pressure

Remaining on the right side
Of all societal humane norms
Changing the societal tide
For the girl-child to enjoy the norms.