Tag Archives: Gay

One Year in a Hell Hole

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After spending a year in a place where everyone’s identity was in a crisis, I finally knew that I was in the right place. My previous school had seen me go through different experiences that I can only but liken to what used to happen in Sodom and Gomorrah during Abrahamic days. Those activities that saw God literally make it rain fire and brimstone to the people of the city and changed Lot’s wife into a salt stone for looking back.

Oh how ladies never learn. Even after somebody being turned into a salt stone for looking into history by God Himself, you still get a lady today looking into the history of his man and judging him based on that. May God rain brimstone on you. 🙂 Chapter closed.

gayyyBack to this hell hole that made me discover that actually men can still admire fellow men in a sexual way. Wait a minute, but how that is even possible, please don’t ask me. You could not tell John from Jane at this place during the day because everyone was busy manning up and trying to acquire knowledge. But with every strike of darkness, it seemed like hell was let loose and men had had to allocate themselves roles in the sexual world with some accepting the roles of women to be shagged night long.

A pathetic place to send your son to acquire knowledge if you asked me. But we still do. How many of such places exist in Kenya is a question I might only ask on this blog in this post. No one would want to imagine that probably, that prestigious school your son is in as all the characteristics of Sodom that even an angel cannot survive a day. I will not dare talk about girls schools because that’s a different case all together whose stakes are even higher with candles, test tubes and bansen burners in play. A riskier place if you asked me.

How I landed in this hell hole still beats me. I had all the manly characters  – head to toe  – that anyone can imagine. Hell, I’m not sure if I was still a virgin, thanks to my being a man because apparently somebody decided that no man is a virgin. But I was here and I was expected to behave. To fit in. To take up a role and act it to the end of the nights, which in fact seemed to last an eternity.

A little background check and I discovered that I was coming from this Christina family from where everything is done according to the Book. This was different, rules of the book were being bend right before my eyes and in the presence of the angel from Sodom and Gomorrah who seemed to lark in the darkness that engulfed the hostels at night.

My understanding of monolization changed immediately. It was like my brothers and sisters had not understood the term well during their days and had thus transferred the wrong knowledge of what monolization really is to me. I had to reboot my systems and now understand that monolization does not only include brushing a finalist’s shoes and spreading their beds but also bending while at it naked and warming their beds with a shaft in you. No, this was not going to happen. Not to me.

Garang had just been assassinated but we had our own Garang. A man of stature and principles. He was the second in command and the disciplinarian. Take to him any problem and consider it solved. But by the look on his eyes, this was a different kind of demon altogether. He hadn’t seen anything of this sort in his miserable years of handing teenagers. Even his pay cheque could not handle the bowlful of problem I was taking to him that Monday morning, a month after my joining his hell hole.

You guessed that right. He didn’t believe it. I was being hysterical. I was just looking for an excuse to go back home. I was just like thousands of other new comers he had seen since his career started who use outrageous excuses to drop out of anything good that requires their hard work.  I was looking for an excuse to disappoint my parents who had done so much to get me there. One of the best that there was to offer to a looser like me. He was right about one thing, I was looking for all reasons available to escape from that hell hole. I couldn’t allow my butt to be drilled. Not even by God himself.

At this point I am better than some ladies I bet. Those who are neither virgins in their front door nor their back doors. Both pass. But I won’t say that. This was soo 2005 and we are in 2015. Things have changed, no?

Just as Garang’s plane was taken down in the assassination without a warning, our Garang’s sense of self assurance was unceremoniously brought down when other fresh members of the hell hole came forward and declared that they would rather quit than get drilled.

No one was going to know what happened here. I bet no one, except those affected actually knew what was happening. It was bad for business. It was bad for the image of those concerned. It was bad for the school and hence the best way to hand it was ‘in-house.’ It was to be dealt with ‘with finality‘. I’m not sure how final the finality was.

For me it was final. I was not going back. I was going somewhere else. I was going to a place where men are made out of boys. I was not going to spend another year into this hell hole that made women out of men. No. I was not being homophobic, but I was just making a decision. I was sure of what I wanted to become in life. I was created to be a man and not somebody’s woman. That’s a decision everyone has to take. Every man.

When I look back I can’t help but wonder what became of those we left there.

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